In this video, Al addresses that all relationships experience conflict. Four common mistakes in dealing with conflict are 1) a defensive attitude, 2) criticalness, 3) contempt, and 4) withdrawl. Any one of these can ruin a marriage and develop a hard heart if they are not dealt with. Often these unhealthy responses originate from past fears or wounds. To address these attitudes there must be a safe place where spouses can open up. An honest but loving attitude is an achievable and necessary goal.
A further block to a harmonious marriage is how anger is handled or mishandled. Fear or hurt feelings can always be found behind anger. Because anger is so fraught with emotion it is often best to suggest tabling an argument in order to have a cooling off period. Angry people have difficulty regulating their emotions, but when they are able to surrender to the Lord, true transformation is possible.
In conclusion: recognize the attitudes that erode marriage; create an atmosphere that allows for open and honest communication; and find the biblical solutions that heal and change a broken marriage.